Friday, January 16, 2009
21 crisis!
Everyone's turning 21 this year.
That includes me.
What am i gonna do?! I'm so lost for ideas for the first time.
I never ran out of ideas.
Am i gonna throw a party like everyone else? or am i gonna just do what i usually do? silent birthdays.
Birthdays have been a nightmare for me. I hated my own birthdays. They were a reminder of embarassment, permanent emotional scars and so many fuckshit i had to live with.
But it was through all this that i am who and what i am today. Through the embarassment i learnt to grow, to become me, to become independent, to become an individual.
So to him who let me know what jealously is, thanks, you ruined part of my life.
To him who didn't want to befriend me when i was young and left me at the chalet
like a fool, thanks, i'm ok being alone now. I have my friends, i don't need you.
To him who treated me like a third wheel whenever there are family gatherings, thanks, i have my friends and mum and dad and raymond, i don't need your company.
To him who never really doted on me, thanks, you let me felt how bad it is to be unwanted, so i never do that to raymond.
On July 8th this year. Happy birthday Edwin. So much for your happy ending.
Bah, i thought i was through with the emo stuff.
Posted at 11:07 PM